Life lessons from an amateur surfer.
In 2021, my marriage ended, and my world was turned upside down. We had been married for 2 years but together for 12. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. I had been having regular therapy sessions for 6 months before making the decision to walk away from my marriage. In that time, I had learned a lot about myself. I am someone who is deeply kind and always believes the best for other people. However, I was a people pleaser who believed that other people's needs were greater than my own. This meant I was easily manipulated, gaslit, and coerced. Sadly, I realised that my husband at the time was using these tactics to get what he wanted from me. I walked away when it was clear he would never change.
In the months after the relationship had ended, I was lost. At 31 years old, I had moved back in with my parents, and I had no idea who I was outside my relationship. I had to learn to be confident because the people I had surrounded myself with had always told me that I wasn't capable. I was having to break free from the chains of codependency and teach myself how to feel strong standing on my own two feet. I would get nervous going to social occasions or events by myself as I had always had someone else standing there beside me. I didn't want to stay lost, not knowing my identity. It was time to play.
One day, I was scrolling through Facebook, and I saw a friend had posted a picture of them surfing. I looked at the picture and said to myself, "I want to learn how to do that." I had never surfed in my life, but suddenly I wanted to learn. Using my savings, I booked a one-way ticket to Bali, and 3 weeks later, I was on a plane heading to Indonesia to learn how to surf.
Jet-lagged, nervous, alone in a foreign country, I had no idea if I was going to like surfing. On my second day in Bali, I woke up at 6 am, hired an instructor, and headed to the beach for my first surf lesson. On land, my surf instructor taught me how to paddle for a wave and stand up on the board. Just before getting in the water, he turned to me and said, "Katie, the most important thing is that you have spirit. Whatever happens in the water, have spirit." That first lesson, I didn't stand up on the board once; I tried and fell many times, but I was hooked. Surfing had given me spirit.
The ocean has taught me many things since that first surf lesson, and I want to share with you the top 3 things I have learned.
1- There's always another wave.
Imagine you've caught a really great wave, but your balance is slightly off on your board, and you fall off. Your ride has been cut short, and you could be left feeling disappointed, but the ocean will always send you another wave. It is the same in life; it changes quickly and can be unpredictable. You just have to trust the flow and know for certain that other opportunities will arise. Life will always send you another wave.
2- You have time.
You don't tell the ocean when you're ready, and like life, you can't foresee what might happen next. In the water, you can wait a long time for the waves to come rolling in again. You have the option to feel frustrated and annoyed that your surfing session hasn't gone to plan, or you can pause and enjoy the beauty that surrounds you from the water. Life isn't a rush; you can stop to enjoy the beauty around you rather than worrying about what might happen next.
3- I get knocked down, but I get up again.
As mentioned, in my first lesson, I didn't stand up on the board once, but it didn't stop me from trying. If you fall off, you wait for the next wave and you try again. In life, failure can create a fear not to try; people are so willing to quit something because they fell off. We fear exploring that awkward, messy stage of learning that is ungraceful. But the biggest growth, the biggest learning comes from falling off and getting back up again.
My life has changed; I thought at 33 I would be a successful actress, a homeowner living with my husband with a baby on the way. Everything I had predicted for myself has changed, but I'm not sad about it. I have spirit, I know there will always be another wave, I know I have time, and I will always get back up again. Most importantly, I am living in the present moment, enjoying each day as it comes.
If you suffer with anxiety and want to know how to overcome it, drop me a message and I can tell you how I can help.
Comentários