Will Regulation Ever Bring Lasting Calm?

Psychology pop culture loves to talk about nervous system regulation. Which isn't a bad thing; in fact, you could say it's the opposite. As people begin to hear certain buzzwords, it helps you to bring into awareness a space for your own self-reflection. People begin to start acknowledging that they might be stressed and that their nervous system might be dysregulated.

This was certainly true for me. Years ago, when the term nervous system regulation was in its infancy in the wellness space, I was practising it. I was doing daily meditations, breathwork, moving my body, being in nature, stretching, ice baths, the list goes on. I was putting in the work to help bring my body into a place of calm and to build resilience to stressful situations.

By helping my body and nervous system to regulate, I noticed a difference in myself. I was more grounded, more present, more focused, calmer, and kinder to myself. I was able to listen more intuitively to my body to acknowledge what was emotionally happening when I was dysregulated. I was able to challenge myself by being in stressful situations and not becoming overwhelmed or feeling out of control of my emotions, knowing I could lean back on my regulation tools to help me after the event.

Until recently, I really believed that was all there was to nervous system regulation. Until I uncovered a completely new layer to master. As mentioned above, when in stressful or overwhelming situations, I would feel I had more resilience but afterwards I would still go away to regulate. My new level of mastery was regulation in those moments.

For example, if I'm finding someone's anger triggering, I pause and check in with my body. I acknowledge what I'm feeling and where in my body I'm feeling it. I then check in with my breath. Am I breathing shallow and high up in my chest? If yes, I try to slow my breath down and breathe deep into the diaphragm. I may begin to lower my tone and slow down my speech to calm not just myself but the other person too. To keep myself present, I'll use my senses to ground. I'll check in with my feet on the floor, taking a moment to feel them. If I need to, I'll use my other senses, such as subtly touching an item of clothing or looking at an object in my surroundings. I then check back in with how I'm feeling and where I'm feeling it. If the feeling hasn't passed, I'll repeat the process; if it has, I'm free to carry on.

This new nervous system mastery happens so subtly and so gently that the other person isn't even able to see it happening. It's become such a powerful tool. I wouldn't have been able to get to this point if I hadn't spent so many years practising regulation tools.

If you're someone who wants to learn how to self-regulate, begin with regulation practice each day. When you feel like you have more of an awareness of your nervous system, try to begin this mastery. Try to regulate in the moment of feeling triggered or dysregulated. You'll slowly begin to see how those situations become less activating.

My approach to helping someone is focused on the tools that will help a person self-regulate. I'm kind and empathetic, with my focus on ensuring you feel heard and understood. In any private treatments with me, we will explore the senses, the here and now, your emotions and body work/somatics. All of these tools will help you towards your nervous system mastery.

Click here to explore what treatments might help you: https://www.katiehartjustbreathe.com/1-2-1services